Although I hated having that conversation with my so seemingly innocent daughter, I knew that God gave me all the right words to say. And I knew that he did that because I had been in His word that morning. And many mornings before that, filling my mind and heart with his truth and his grace.
I have been letting him build into me with his words from the Bible.
Today I had to explain to my seven year old what an Amber Alert means and I held her crying face in my lap as she cried and cried. At first I thought she was scared, but she shook her head "no." "I'm not scared mom. I'm sad. I'm so sad for the child who was taken. He must be so scared."
And so I grabbed her hands and we prayed. We prayed for the little boy in the gray Nissan.
And we talked. Talked about evil in the world, but a God who is always with us. He is with the suffering, the scared, the needy, the lonely. And it's often those hard times when people feel Jesus with them the most. He never lets us go. She knew that already though. And so she wiped her tears and put her trust and hope for that boy in Jesus.
She knew that already, because every night our family gathers together and has a devotional time. Where we read a passage from the Bible, talk about what that reading tells us about God, and we pray. Because of the that time together my kids hearts were prepared to hear the answers to tough questions and to believe and to understand.
And because I spend every morning having my own Bible time and time with God, I was prepared to give the right answers.
Had I not been filling my mind with his truths on a daily basis, that sex talk would have been very different. Maybe not enough grace, maybe not enough truth. Maybe too much of my words and not enough of his. But I'm so grateful that it was just right.
I reminded her that sin is anything that is not the way God intended it to be. And so that separates us from God. Our bodies are for our husband (someday!) and only him. That is the way God intended it to be. Not everyone understands that. But we still love them, knowing that we will be different. We will be set apart. We won't live like the world because we are not from the world. We, instead live from the word and live for our God.
She nodded perfuesly, completely understanding, because we have had that talk before.
And she gets it. She lives for Jesus. And she knows she makes mistakes, so she never judges others for theirs. But she keeps on trying to live out the truths she knows and to please the God she loves.
Her understanding isn't something that came from one big talk. It came from night after night in the word and in prayer. It came from conversation after conversation about the truths in the bible. It came from Sunday after Sunday of church and from Wednesday after Wednesday of her kids bible club.
You see, it's a process to raise our kids for Him. We can't just pull out the rules and the way we want them to live when the time actually comes up. It's something that is built over time.
I am so grateful that God worked In my life to help me start building years ago. In their lives and in mine. So that when these conversations start to come up, we are all ready for them. I'm ready to give the answers and they are ready to listen and understand.
This world we live in is crazy. CRAZY!!!! We live in a world where 12 year olds are mothers, where one year olds are kidnapped, where girls bully other girls, where social media can exploit anyone. Our kids need to be ready to face the world, to navigate it, and to understand how to live in obedience and in trust in the savior who lived and died for them. How to remain pure and set apart for Him. How to recognize lies and choose the truth. How to trust in him when the bad things of this world just hurt our heart.
One or two conversations here and there will not do that. If you want to be ready to answer their questions and guide them as they navigate their way through this world, if you want them to listen and to understand, there is one way to do that. Start building now. Add your bricks in everyday.
Get your nose in that book and gather your family around it as well.
Teach them daily, invest in your church to be built up by them as well. Spend less time at the three sports your child is in and more time being built up by the truth; church, small group bible studies, kids bible clubs, family devotions and personal bible study. Know God personally and deeply and bring your family to know Him with you. He will work in their hearts and their minds and will help them live for him. But you have to guide them there.
Be intentional, be diligent, be in the word. It will prepare you for the battle field.
Whenever that battle comes, your days and years of building will be the most amazing weapon. You will be ready to win battles for him. To speak his truth with grace and love. To answer tough questions and to help guide them through this life. And they will be ready to hear and listen and understand with a heart that knows Jesus and lives for him. Be ready. Get in the word daily and bring your family with you!
Raising kids is a mission field. It is no light job. I'm reminded more and more lately what a huge responsibility I have. These kids are growing up. And so much of how they are growing up is in my very hands. And so in those same hands I will grip that Bible tight and let it lead me and let it lead us.
All the time, I hear people say that parenting never came with an instructional manual. I never understood that! It sure did! The bible is my parenting manual, telling me everything I need to know to mother these kids. It is clear, it is good and it is true. It is a book about the God of the universe who loves us and came to rescue us and wants all of us. And it is a book that has changed my life and my family's life. It is a book that will continue to get us through this rough and crazy world with Jesus right by our side. I pray that more mothers cling to it and use it to raise their children and bring their families closer to him.
I can't end this without saying though that even as I'm in the scripture everyday day, I still make a million mistakes a day. So please don't expect perfection from yourself or anyone. I still lose my temper when my youngest daughter won't wear any of her socks because they itch her, I still don't listen to my oldest daughter as well as I should when she is telling the same story for the 16th time and I still feel bad on certain days when I know I spent too much time on my phone and not enough time playing with my son. I fail and I fail. But by the grace of God and my continued time in the word and in prayer, I'm able to get back up and keep trying to get this right in Him.
And on some days, like the last 2 days, It is because of Him, that I do get some things right. It is with joy that I fall asleep tonight knowing that I was able to answer my kids' questions and speak to them about hard things with the truth as my guide. It is my joy that when I needed to respond the right response was there. Because of the time I had spent in the book that gives us truth.
It is my joy that I know my kids understand the truth and trust in Him. And I deeply pray that more mothers will have that joy and peace knowing that they are building something good for Him.
On those long days, and busy weeks I tell myself "just keep building!" If you haven't started building yet, start now. It's never too late. Do a daily bible reading with your family. Slowly but surely, amazing changes will happen and you will see the fruits of your labor! And if you have started building already, don't ever stop! It is a such a great role we have been given. So grab that book and just keep building! Through Him build into your kids and onto yourself.
For when the time comes when you need to respond, if you are in the word, the right response will be there. Truth and grace will flow from your mouth and into their lives. So just keep building.
Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
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